I Just Changed the World
The world just flipped upside down. Did you notice? Did you hear the bells and whistles that were sounding last night? No?!?
I can’t believe it, or maybe I can and I’m in amazement that it happened and recognized it, and am willing to acknowledge it:
For the FIRST time in my whole LIFE I MADE THE LIST OF THINGS THAT I AM GRATEFUL FOR!
Inspired by the wisdom of my friend and fellow change-agent, Doug Gertner (aka The Grateful Dad) I started to make a list of 5 things I am grateful for every night before going to bed.
I’ve done this before but stopped for reasons I can’t recall and have noticed that my finances and zest for life have gone way down. After talking with Doug and some other Master Minds (that is the name of the business coaching group I'm working with), it became abundantly clear that I have developed a keen eye for what is wrong, lacking, and negative in any situation, especially in examination of myself and my life.
Basically, I was creating and embelleshing the limitations to my success and happiness. . . that I invented (interesting use of my creative powers, wouldn't you say?)
I realized that I had a firm judgment of, coupled with a fear of being judged as, a pollyanna--someone who is foolishly optimistic. To justify my judgment and prevent being judged asa fool myself, I became a negativist, a cynic, an unhealthy skeptic. This was great for proving the rightness of my opinion of my mother, a pollyanna par excellence, and avoiding being labeled as “just like my mother.” But, holding onto this point of view is not working for me. It's actually inaccurate. Research doesn't support it. Continuing on with it is actually dragging me down. And honestly, it’s actually become a little boring.
So after my meeting with the Brain Trust, the Master Minds, I figured I had nothing to lose. I’m pretty tired of being miserable and bored with my life. Seriously, I have pretty much f***ing
fault finding and self-limitation, so, it’s time for a new challenge.
And WOW!, the outcome is already astounding!
Yeah, I get it, It sounds like an astonishing award like "First Place in the Oxygen to Carbon Dioxide Conversion Contest, or getting a "Participant" ribbon for the game of life, but it’s not.
This is possibly a crowning achievement in my life, thus far because:
- For the first half of my life I struggled with eating disorders, body dysmorphic disorder, obsessive compulsive disorder and behaviors
- I blamed my body for the rejection and sexual abuse I experienced in my early life
- I punished my body for said rejection and abused it by overeating, starving, over-exercising, hating, and verbally abusing it
- I was blind, or more accurately--reused to acknowledge--any contribution I or my body had been to any success in my life
- I developed and finely tuned thought patterns and behaviors to invent, create, and destroy perceived imperfections in my body and being
For me to acknowledge the strength of my body and the beauty of my being is HUGE!!
This CANNOT BE OVERSTATED!
I would LOVE the opportunity to share my story, if you are interested; but more importantly, the tools that allowed me to acknowledge Me and my willingness to persevere.
I AM A SUPERHERO.
And for the first time in my life, I KNOW beyond a shadow of a doubt that I CAN DO ANYTHING because of what I am and how I feel in this moment.
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