Dr. JOYLYN Maniaci
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by Dr. JOYLYN Maniaci

5 Things You Can Do to Change Your Reality

As you will hear me say: "Do something different, not just differently." 

What's the distinction? To do something different requires a fundamental, ground level change--doing something completely out of habit, that will break a pattern, get the attention of the subconscious, and allow something new to arise. Doing something differently is only a change is how something is done--changing only the appearance, but preserving the habit or intent of the behavior, and more than likely ending up generating the same results we've been generating. 

The things we could be doing that could radically alter our reality lead to the generation of a universe that puts us central can be small, subtle, and often go un-noticed, unacknowledged if we don't pay attention. They are also often things that we could choose not to do; the absence of a conditioned response. But these seemingly insignificant acts or lack of an act can really impact our lives at a deep level, put cracks in our defenses--the stories we have about ourselves and our circumstances, the bullshit that we have built our life around, fortified and keeps us stuck and only able to watch our lives instead of creating them.

What I'm suggesting is, that if you are ready to change, to have change in your life, and/or to be an agent of change, try something radically different. Here are 5 things you can do (or not do) that can radically change your life, if you're ready to choose it:

1. Smile at yourself in the mirror.

Look at yourself in the eye and smile, as you would to a friend. Just the act of smiling can change your brain chemistry and lead to a more positive disposition. Smiling at yourself can change how your perceive and receive yourself, so that you can become a source of your joy instead of the object of your disdain. 

2. Take a deep breath.

So often we take our breath for granted and don't pay attention to it at all. Breathing is a portal and vehicle of communication to our subconscious. By consciously taking control of our breath pattern, we can short-circuit some "loops" in the brain because the mind cannot differentiate between real or imagined/perceived stress.
So, if we breathe slowly and deeply, as we do when we are calm and relaxed, the brain will respond as if we are calm and relaxed, regardless of the situation. You can use this to your advantage and calm yourself in the face of anxiety or fear by consciously taking a deep breath. How much more effective could you be if you were able to be calm in the face of adversity?

3. Take another deep breath...before you begin to speak or respond to someone.

Inserting a short pause is another way to get the attention of your subconscious and also bring awareness to just how often and quickly we react to stimulus, such as a social cue, as opposed to responding after listening. We can only choose to change something after we become aware of it. Taking a breath after listening and before speaking can bring awareness to a habit of poor listening and conditioned response and allow for a change to more conscious, active listening. The world is yours if you know how to listen well.

4. Change your diet.

I'm not talking at all about what you eat. I'm talking about a "no-judgment diet" (credit Katherine McIntosh for the term). More than likely, you've tried some sort of alteration in your food intake in order to lose weight or change your health status. Instead of doing the same thing differently and choosing another food and exercise plan, limit or give up judging yourself for being you. Holy shit, how different would that be from normal? Can you even imagine how much extra time and energy you'd have to create an entirely new reality for yourself?!?! 



5.  Drop the defense.

The next time you feel indignant and absolutely driven to prove your point or deny any criticism, don't. It's going to be uncomfortable as all hell, I assure you. But, there is little that is deeper, more truly different than being vulnerable or willing to be wrong. And in doing so (by not doing the defense, that is) you will see that you can and will survive even the most brutal insult to your ego. This alone is a tremendous achievement that can radically change your perception of yourself and what you can/cannot stand. It can also grow into the skill of being wrong, in which you become willing to drop your defenses, admit to being wrong (even if you are not) in order to choose a possibility that will work out for you, i.e. give you more options, save or enhance a relationship, or allow for more satisfaction than the momentary pleasure of bolstering the ego. You can be the master of your universe if you just don't.


The journey of a thousand miles starts with one step. Use any or all of these suggestions as a first step to YOU.  


Are you ready for some big change? Click here for more information, or call 720-509-9659 to set up a strategy session and get started today!