Hi there, I’m JOYLYN Sparkles, creatrix/founder of the HAPPINESS clinic. I work with star seeds and empaths seeking to get unstuck, stop emotional reactivity, end emotional addiction, and be confident and happy.

I am fierce and unwavering in my belief in your inherent value and ability to be #happyAF. My coaching doesn’t have a name because I use everything—all of my training and lived experience—to help you remodel the relationship you have with yourself so you can have more YOU in your life.

Discover/remember Who YOU Really Are, the joy of embodiment & relationships so that you can create the future you would like to have as a reality now.

This is my joy.

I love seeing people come alive when they (re) discover and reclaim a part of themselves. I love when people “nerd out” when they talk about what lights them up. I love seeing people holding hands—young and old, same sex, different sex, it doesn’t matter—and being kind to one another. I also love dogs, being outside, and anything that sparkles—but I digress…I like to help people wake up to their own awesomeness and remodel their relationships to grow in confidence and bring laughter back to their (love) life... and it’s actually more available than we’ve been taught to believe because it isn’t about luck or romance, it’s about choice and a willingness to be or do something different (usually involving communication and emotional habits).

Love. Confidence. Happiness. Health…all depend on your relationship with YOU.

I’d like to give you my life and experience as Cliff’s Notes for remodeling your relationships and bringing laughter back to your life (love life, personal life, embodied life experience).

You can be happy AF…You can live without pain. You can live without doubt and insecurity. You can live in harmony with your partner…without losing yourself.

I can help you.

All you have to do is request a free consultation, aka call for clarity. In this 30 minute phone conversation we will talk about what is going on for you and what you are going for.

If I’m confident I can help you and we are a good fit, then I’ll offer you the opportunity to move forward and work with me to improve your confidence and communication so you can Remodel Your Relationship and enjoy lasting happiness.

(If it isn’t a fit, then you will have more clarity on your target and I will do my best to connect you with other resources to help you move forward.)

I only take on a few clients at a time to ensure everyone gets personalized attention.

So, if you’re ready to explore YOUR possibilities for relationship bliss, request your free consultation now.

What you can expect from me:

I’m direct and I don’t much care to tip toe around things just to be “nice” or comfortable—that just prolongs the problem. “Nice” and “kind” are not the same things in my book. I want you to get the results you are looking for as fast as possible. So I will have the uncomfortable conversation or allow the uncomfortable silence, whatever is required…and I will deliver it with respect, kindness, and without judgment.

MY BACKGROUND STORY

I started with an undergraduate degree in psychology from the University of Missouri-Columbia. As a smarty pants, I graduated Summa Cum Laude in 2002. I became a licensed massage therapist and then went on to medical school at Bastyr University in Kenmore, Washington. After I graduated, I continued to pursue my interests in the mind-body connection and relationship dynamics with independent training with Yoga Life Coaching, Access ConsciousnessⓇ, and Non-Violent Communication.

Throughout high school and college I struggled with eating disorders and depression. My journey to health began with the revelation that my depression was mostly a result of adrenal fatigue, which no conventional doctor had ever heard of or suggested. From there my interest was piqued and I decided to go into naturopathic medicine. However, I experienced, both in my clinical studies and my own health journey, that the emotional component of health and dis-ease was largely ignored even though it was a significant contributing factor to most issues. I concentrated my studies in counseling and got outside training in coaching.

Coaching created the fastest, lasting change for me as I untangled myself from an eating disorder, depression, and an abusive past. Using the tools that I was learning I was finally able to see the root cause of my depression and how I was unconsciously creating bad relationships. Becoming aware of poor communication habits and hidden addictions to negative feelings and making changes to correct that made a HUGE impact in my life. When I finally realized it was my relationship with myself that needed healing and became willing to love and forgive myself I was able to turn a failing marriage into a “happily growing together” story that continues to surprise and delight; my energy returned, my athletic performance and enjoyment continues to improve, and I finally enjoy being me!

MY PERSONAL TENETS OF COACHING

If things aren’t going the way you’d like, it is NOT evidence of your worthlessness or powerlessness or any other -lessness you’ve assigned as the cause of the way things are right now.

THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH YOU.

Turn away from the temptation to elaborately describe or diagnose the problem; to assign fault or blame to yourself or anyone or anything else. Instead, know there is nothing wrong with you, you are not being punished. The reason things are shitty right now is because of something you are choosing—the way you are interpreting other people’s actions or the ideas you have about yourself—that is making things to show up this way. The crummy circumstances you face could also be an awareness that you are ignoring, fighting to get your attention; or it could even be exactly what you are looking for, showing up in a way you never thought possible and didn’t think to be curious about.

So, stop being so hard on yourself, blaming yourself, depriving yourself of affection or encouragement. “The beatings will stop when morale improves”—doesn’t work. 

There is nothing wrong with you.

You are not hopeless.

You are not a burden.

You are not broken.

You don’t need to be fixed.

I am here to help you see your own brilliance and power to turn things around and change what isn’t working for you.

We’ve been trained to look OUTSIDE ourselves for the reason we aren’t happy.

So many people have come to me and said, “If he/she would just…” believing that he/she changing is the obstacle to happiness.

I've said it. We’ve all done it…but it doesn’t work.

Even though it seems so obvious as the simplest solution to your pain, insisting someone else is the problem actually puts your happiness in someone else’s hands. Unless you enjoy feeling powerless, attempting to change another human being—to change his mind, convince him he’s wrong so that he will be or do what you’re asking—is a waste of your time and energy. You only have the power to change one person’s mind—and it’s not him/her.

But this is actually good news because it means you don’t have to wait for anyone else to change before you can be happy! You actually have the power to change everything without permission or waiting and be happy right now!

"When you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change." It sounds cliche but it’s actually true and amazingly powerful.

If you take a risk and do something different—change your point of view instead of working so hard to get someone else to change theirs—the resentment and pain diminishes and more ease, energy, and time become available to you. And…when you truly take responsibility for your own happiness and let go of your insistence that he change, he actually becomes more likely to change and deliver what you’re asking for.

“No one else needs to change for you to be happy” is why relationship coaching is so effective working with only one person.

Though counter-intuitive, slowing down to speed up saves time, energy, heartache, and pain.

1. In the beginning we will take time to get clarity on your goals.

If we don't have a target, it becomes very easy to become distracted and fall into habitual patterns. However, we often know more about what we don't want or like than what we do desire for our lives. If we can slow down in order to get an idea of what it is that we would like to be and have in our lives, the getting becomes So. Much. Easier.

2. In the heat of the moment, pause.

There is this tiny space in between stimulus and response and within it lies an infinite number of possibilities for different outcomes. The problem is, the space between stimulus and reaction is tiny and we don't acknowledge that it's there and we go directly from one to the other, and often into over-reaction.  In order to see this tiny little space, we need to pause.

Taking a moment to look or step away is essential to breaking damaging and addictive habits—saying something that makes things worse, eating our feelings, striking out of anger, etc. Pausing gives us time to cool down, clear our minds and open us up to a different way of looking at things, and let what has been set in motion unfold—rushing and pushing often backfires and makes things worse.

“If you want something you’ve never had, you’ve got to do something you’ve never done.” A little pause might be the different that you can do to have what you'd like.

3. Listening—really listening.

What we all have in common is that we would like to be understood and appreciated. However, most of us do not feel either (a little or most of the time)…so we work hard, very hard, to be heard and validated. When we are “starving” this way, our pain speaks and makes our communication ineffective. We communicate in ways that make understanding and appreciation much less likely.

The only way out is through empathy. To listen with total attention, not just to the words, but to the feelings and needs—ours and the other person.

To listen in this way takes a little effort and more time up front, but spares us a great deal of prolonged arguments, lost productivity, hurt feelings, damaged relationships, broken families, and even financial ruin. Miscommunication is expensive. It’s time to invest in what will work to heal the pain and change the pattern.

I listen so that we can get to the heart of the matter quickly. I listen because I care. I listen because I’d like to decrease the pain on this planet (yours).

Nothing is greater than your power to choose.

There is nothing you need to figure out, understand, or wait for in order to make a different choice.

…And when I’m talking about choice, I’m talking about is our attitude and the thoughts and feelings that we are concentrating on and giving energy to.  Emotions only last for 90 seconds; after that they require “food”—thoughts that will keep the feelings going. Thoughts “pop up,” but we choose what we will concentrate on and repeat… We’ve just made the same choice so many times it doesn’t feel like a choice any more, and our brains have actually changed. But a new choice is always available...

Choose what brings ease, space, and joy. We know pain and heaviness too well.

The more we choose ease and joy, our brains will change again to make those synapses more efficient so that happier thoughts will be the ones that “pop up” more often. The more we prioritize and choose ease and happiness and the thoughts that support them, the easier our relationships and lives will be.

I can help you shift your mindset to make choosing happiness easier so can enjoy more ease and laughter in your relationships.

The benefits of working with me:

Here’s what my happy clients are saying about their experience.

Here are the benefits of coaching that I’ve experienced and witnessed.