creatrix | Dr. JOYLYN Sparkles

Hi there, I’m JOYLYN Sparkles, creatrix/founder of the HAPPINESS clinic®.

I work with high-functioning individuals + organizations to get unstuck— stop emotional reactivity + miscommunication— and be confident, happy, healthy + productive.

This is actually easier than we’ve been taught to believe.

Here's the problem:

1. Most people know more about what they don't want, than what they do want.

...that's backwards...but "normal."

2. Conventional coaching and healthcare don't really understand trauma.

In fact, most conventional coaching, mindset training and even health/wellness programming often only helps to cope or manage symptoms; and can actually keep you stuck or delay healing.

I learned this the long and hard way and decided I didn't want anyone else to have to deal with this much frustration + heartache as I did.

I share what worked for me, which I call the "backwards" way of putting happiness first/future-forward approach.

My coaching doesn’t have a name because I use everything—I draw on all of my training and lived experience.

What I've developed is a combination of my philosophy and the latest research to deliver the best and fastest ways to help you ditch bad habits and create new ones so you can reclaim your health + self-esteem.

I do my best to make your healing process easier + faster (less processing, down-time, white-knuckling; faster recovery, resilience).

HAPPINESS FIRST + FUNdamentals

I created the Future Forward Focus approach to coaching.

It gets results faster and forever because it's trauma-informed. This approach works with the subconscious and the natural design of our brains + beings.

What is the Future Forward Focus™ ?

Instead of standing still or digging deeper into the problems, or working to fix or avoid something from happening again, I coach and train to shift the gaze to the future and simply going for feeling better and putting attention on what you want (not what you don’t want).

This begins an organic healing process in which all that is unresolved, that has kept you from having or being that good/target/priority already is going to come up—from the subconscious to the conscious awareness where it becomes available for change.

...And in the order that the body/being is able to deal with (not what the mind says "makes sense" or “should” be healed first)

This approach works with the subconscious (trauma-informed).

It both gives the subconscious something else to think on (the future) so it doesn’t loop back into the old thought patterns, AND makes the future familiar. 

...Because to the subconscious, uncertainty is certain death.

With this approach we become familiar with the future and even associate and experience it as pleasant rather than threatening (through visualizaiton—the brain can’t tell real from imagined). In this way we make it SAFE to change.

This approach and process is more positively creative (generating possibilities rather than worrying) and fulfilling to the human brain (our brains are actually designed for and delight in process and progress, not completion).

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What does trauma-informed mean?

"Trauma-informed" means that a practitioner and/or treatment considers the experiences of each individual, how trauma may impact their lives, what symptoms they’re experiencing and then works to prevent re-traumatization*(Cleveland Clinic).

Care and consideration for the mental and physical impact, the resulting change in physiology, and appropriate measures to address these issues must be included and integrated into theory and practice.

I believe we can use the latest in research on trauma and the changes in our biochemistry and neurophysiology to move beyond coping and managing and fully release and heal.

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I am fierce and unwavering in my belief in your inherent value + ability to be happy.

My Future Forward Focus ™ approach to life and coaching are based on 4 tenets.

THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH YOU.

If things aren’t going the way you’d like, it is NOT evidence of your worthlessness or powerlessness or any other -lessness you’ve assigned as the cause of the way things are right now.

THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH YOU.

Turn away from the temptation to elaborately describe or diagnose the problem; to assign fault or blame to yourself or anyone or anything else. Instead, know there is nothing wrong with you, you are not being punished.

The reason things are shitty right now is because of something you are choosing (or not choosing) and/or the way you are interpreting other people’s actions or the ideas you have about yourself—that is making things appear so dark and heavy.

The crummy circumstances you face could also be an awareness that you are ignoring, fighting to get your attention; or it could even be exactly what you are looking for, showing up in a way you never thought possible and didn’t think to be curious about.

Stop being so hard on yourself, blaming yourself, depriving yourself of affection or encouragement. “The beatings will stop when morale improves”—doesn’t work. 

There is no reason that you cannot accomplish or have what you'd like—it's just not part of your reality yet, or it is already showing up and you just can't see it.

There is nothing wrong with you.

You are not hopeless. You are not a burden. You are not broken.

You don’t need to be fixed.

I am here to help you see your own beauty, brilliance, and power to turn things around and change what isn’t working for you.

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NO ONE ELSE NEEDS TO CHANGE FOR YOU TO BE HAPPY

We’ve been trained to look OUTSIDE ourselves for the reason we aren’t happy.

So many people have come to me and said, “If he* would just…” believing that he changing is the obstacle to happiness.

I've said it. We’ve all done it…but it doesn’t work.

Even though it seems so obvious as the simplest solution to your pain, insisting someone else is the problem actually puts your happiness in someone else’s hands. Unless you enjoy feeling powerless, attempting to change another human being—to change his mind, convince him he's wrong so that he will be or do what you’re asking—is a waste of your time and energy. You only have the power to change one person’s mind—and it’s not him/her.

This is actually good news because it means you don’t have to wait for anyone else to change before you can be happy! You actually have the power to change everything without permission or waiting and be happy right now!

"When you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change."

It sounds cliche but it’s true and amazingly powerful.

If you take a risk and do something different—change your point of view instead of working so hard to get someone else to change theirs—the resentment and pain diminishes and more ease, energy, and time become available to you.

And, when you truly take responsibility for your own happiness and let go of your insistence that he change, he actually becomes more likely to change and deliver what you’re asking for.

“No one else needs to change for you to be happy” is why relationship + communication coaching is so effective working with only one person.

*using "he" for simplicity. Replace "he" with appropriate pronoun for your purposes.

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SLOW DOWN TO SPEED UP

Though counter-intuitive, slowing down to speed up saves time, energy, heartache, and pain.

1. There is caring in preparing.

At the start of any program, we take time to get clarity on your goals.

If we don't have a target, it becomes very easy to become distracted and fall into habitual patterns. However, we often know more about what we don't want or like than what we do desire for our lives. If we can slow down in order to get an idea of what it is that we would like to be and have in our lives, the getting becomes So. Much. Easier.

2. In the heat of the moment, pause.

There is this tiny space in between stimulus and response and within it lies an infinite number of possibilities for different outcomes. The problem is, the space between stimulus and reaction is tiny and we don't acknowledge that it's there and we go directly from one to the other, and often into over-reaction.  In order to see this tiny little space, we need to pause.

Taking a moment to look or step away is essential to breaking damaging and addictive habits—saying something that makes things worse, eating our feelings, striking out of anger, etc. Pausing gives us time to cool down, clear our minds and open us up to a different way of looking at things, and let what has been set in motion unfold—rushing and pushing often backfires and makes things worse.

“If you want something you’ve never had, you’ve got to do something you’ve never done.”

A little pause might be the different that you can do to have what you'd like.

3. Listening—really listening.

What we all have in common is that we would like to be understood and appreciated. However, most of us do not feel either (a little or most of the time)…so we work very hard to be heard and validated.

When we are “starving” this way, our pain speaks and makes our communication ineffective. We communicate in ways that make understanding and appreciation much less likely. The only way out is through empathy. To listen with total attention, not just to the words, but to the feelings and needs—ours and the other person. To listen in this way takes a little effort and more time up front, but spares us a great deal of prolonged arguments, lost productivity, hurt feelings, damaged relationships, broken families, and even financial ruin.

Miscommunication is expensive. It’s time to invest in what will work to heal the pain and change the pattern.

I listen so that we can get to the heart of the matter quickly. I listen to understand. I listen so I can help decrease the pain on this planet (yours).

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CHOICE WINS

Nothing is greater than your power to choose.

There is nothing you need to figure out, understand, or wait for in order to make a different choice.

…and when I’m talking about choice, I’m talking about our attitude and the thoughts and feelings that we are concentrating on and giving energy to. 

Emotions only last for 90 seconds. After that they require “food”—thoughts that will keep the feelings going. Thoughts “pop up,” but we choose what we will concentrate on and keep thinking about. We’ve just made the same choice so many times it doesn’t feel like a choice any more, and our brains have actually changed and conditioned to this habitual thinking pattern.

A new choice is always available. Choose to pay attention and focus on what brings ease, space, and joy.

The more we choose ease and joy, our brains will change again to make those synapses more efficient so that happier thoughts will be the ones that “pop up” more often.

We know pain and heaviness too well. So we owe it to ourselves to put in some effort to prioritize and choose ease and happiness, and the thoughts that support them, the easier.

I can help you shift your mindset to make choosing happiness easier so can enjoy more ease and laughter in your relationships.

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Being serious doesn't work. It's just makes us sour.

I focus on the FUNdamentals.

What are the FUNdamentals?

Air/breathing

Water (hydration, emotional hygiene)

Food/nutrition

Sunlight

Movement

Relationships (with bodies + minds, other people, Nature, Divine/Spirit)

Play (laughter, singing, color)

Intelligent questions (If you work with me, you will learn more. Basically, intelligent questions to inspire curiosity (one of our most underutilized and highly effective motivators) and open us to awareness about possibilities and solutions, not "what's wrong with me?" or some derivative of that).

Social skills—everything is a skill that we can learn, practice, and improve—communication, emotional handling, relationship dynamics like boundaries.

Set up for success—working with the subconscious, instead of fighting it (We are not going to win going against survival drives, so we have to learn some "work-arounds"— tools you can use and remember in a charged moment.

Sustainability—give opportunities to practice and play with new information.

When working with trauma and habits, you need a lot of repetition to re-wire your nervous system and learn what safety and healthy feels like.

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Learning + Motivation

Research shows us what we've always known: We learn fastest through play.

Motivation is consistently cited as one of the biggest obstacles to long term change, as well as loads of competition for time and attention. To address this, our programs are designed to work with the subconscious as well as integrate humor and play.

Using improv games and friendly competition we incentive and gamify learning and behavior change to get faster and lasting results.

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UNCONVENTIONAL WELLNESS SERVICES

I have created a suite of "unconventional" wellness + relationship coaching programs that are trauma-informed, FUN, and effective so you can reclaim your health, self-esteem + productivity faster, for real, for good.

Corporate Wellness + Executive Coaching

We create and deliver customized programs to address your organization's health + wellness targets and enhance organizational culture.

EDU-TAINMENT:

Speaking + Presenting

Engaging and interactive presentations and workshops that inspire action, and deliver a healing and transformative experience.

Personal Health + Relationship Coaching

Break free from old habits, fears, and limiting beliefs and enjoy the body, relationships, and enthusiasm for life you know is possible

WHY IT WORKS

WE IDENTIFY AND ADDRESS THE ROOT CAUSE

We do more than just target problem behaviors. Our process includes finding the actual root CAUSE—the unconscious, hidden patterns that undermine your confidence and sabotage success. This is how we’ve helped so many people get changes that last when other methods didn’t work.

WE FOCUS ON THE FUTURE

Conventional methods focus on the problem and the past that created it, but that actually keeps you stuck in that very same problem. Changing your focus to the future immediately gets you out of your stuck spot, gives the motivation you need to move forward, and dramatically shortens the distance between where you are and where you’d like to be.

WE INSPIRE CONFIDENCE

Despite how you might feel right now, you are not “broken” and it IS possible to turn things around. You’ve got what it takes to bring laughter and joy back to your life, and our coaching will give you the confidence and tools to believe in yourself and do just that.

WE KEEP IT SIMPLE AND RESULTS ARE QUICK

Resolving the patterns that sabotage relationships and success does not have to be difficult or take a long time. Coaching includes simple, targeted changes to improve confidence and communication habits, along with coaching to release buried or hidden trauma and outdated points of view—“baggage”— to confront detrimental patterns head on. My clients often see improvements within days to weeks, not months or years.

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