A Person With No Problems?

"You look like someone who doesn't have any problems."

She was trying to tell me that I was un-relatable and that people would have a hard time telling me about their problems because I appear to have none.

WTF?

That's what's called a "backhanded compliment." 

...And it was a GIFT.

Because it's shows me that what I'm doing works. It's working...and other people can recognize it's working, too.

YOU can have that sparkling moment when you realize that what you are doing IS working (and shows up in a really different way than you thought). 

See, I invested a lot of time, energy, and dollars into fixing myself, fixing problems, fixating on problems, trying to "figure things out."

That doesn't work.

That approach actually made sure there was a constant flow of problems to fixate on, fix, or try to figure out. Happiness and ease never came. (Neither did dollars or sense.) Arguments continued and my marriage steadily deteriorated.

No measure of "relate-ability" was worth the agony of my daily life— the devastating distance between me and my husband and the vacuous pit where self-esteem should be.

Luckily (for lack of a better word), I got tired of hitting bottom and feeling like shit and FINALLY decided to do something different.

I didn't know where to start at first. 

I did a lot of things "wrong" in my attempt to get it "right." But with patience and practice I got better--at choosing my thoughts, responding instead of reacting, requesting instead of demanding, and apologizing when I messed up.

I have come from a history of depression, attempted suicide, eating disorder, domestic violence, low self-esteem, financial poverty to a happy person that appears to have no acquaintance with hardship.

I'm not a person with no problems.

…But I AM a person with fewer problems.

♥︎ A person with a rags to riches love story.

♥︎ A person who no longer REACTS to everything people say or do.

♥︎ A person who is rooting out insecurity and extinguishing bad habits to make room for confidence and success.

♥︎ A person who appears (and truly is) happy.

♥︎ A person who can also delight in the success of others.

♥︎ A person who is so willing, eager, and able to help you get out from under your problems.

You don't have to create problems to be "relatable." 

You don't have to have problems to be YOU (as an individual or as a couple).

Even if it seems like you are your problems or your problems are permanent because you've been struggling for a long time, you can have a different reality. You can be happy. You can have a loving relationship.

And it doesn’t have to take a long time to turn things around. You just have to start.

You CAN be someone who looks like they have no problems—

Not because you are “faking it ‘til you make it, “ but because you’ve actually decided to do something different so that something different can show up for you. Because you will actually have more joy and fewer problems.

I know how overwhelming it can be at the beginning and not even knowing where to start.

I’ve created the 90 Day Relationship Remodel Program to break it down for you step-by-step; but I understand that this is a tough decision you’re making and you want to make sure that you’re not just throwing your time, money, and heart away on something that won’t work.

So I’m offering a FREE talk on Wednesday, September 25: How to Save A Failing Marriage Before It’s Too Late.

The name is severe. The talk is honest. The tools will work.

Here’s the link for more information and to register.

If you’d like to work with me one-on-one, click the button below to request a FREE initial consultation. We’ll talk about what’s going on for you and make sure we are a good fit before moving forward.