Ungrounded
This may be the most useful things I’ve written so far…
The other night I cried for 4 hours. Straight. It was HORRIBLE.
(My head still hurts.)
The day had started off off—I ordered a wetsuit and when I placed the order it was set for delivery to an ex-boyfriend’s house; which was bizarre as I had taken his address out of the address list months ago. How did this happen?
I called customer service and the order was canceled, but then I couldn’t use the coupon code that I had been given to replace the defective wetsuit that was previously delivered.
…it went downhill from there.
I had a day of apartment searching. I met some nice people that I know for sure I don’t want to live with…3 times in one day… after driving an hour to get there.
Now in a two hour return trip home because of road construction, I was DISTRAUGHT to say the least—for all the effort to still be at zero for the day: no wetsuit, no new place to live, nothing prepared for dinner.
I had held tears back numerous times throughout the day, but then finally decided to let it flow.
But then it wouldn’t stop.
It’s like this well wasn’t just opened, but deepening with the tears. It was agonizing.
I reached out to a friend (which is always hard because I’m still afraid I’m a burden when I’m in spaces like this.)
…I didn’t like her suggestion (find stone and get grounded).
And, I was adamant *not* to binge on beer and chocolate cake or lose myself in a movie
…so instead I:
Let it out
Took a salt bath
Ate a healthy dinner and drank only water
EFT tapping
NONE OF THAT WORKED!
It wasn’t until I was so exhausted after having to fight with the bath plug to keep the water in the tub that I finally said “fuck it” and sat at my meditation station and held a rock…and the tears calmed.
I had become so ungrounded that I had picked up and was emoting a lot of the shit that those nice people I met were refusing to acknowledge in themselves.
I considered myself “above” something so simple as allowing myself to relax, laugh, and just not give a shit.
…instead I wasted 4 hours of my life and created a bitch of a headache in my staunchness to play out dramas that weren’t mine.
MAYBE WE AREN’T AS BROKEN AS WE THINK WE ARE.…just very sensitive.
But if we aren’t aware and acknowledging our sensitivities, it is easy to get lost and become ungrounded and then spin and “give it one more go ‘round” with an old habit pattern.
…When I connected with myself and my Soul the next day I got the message:
Sometimes the easy way is the best way because it is yours. (It is and will feel easy because it is congruent and in harmony).
This personal growth and habit breaking work is tough enough on it’s own. We don’t have to complicate it with all the right/wrong about how to do it and handle it.
We don’t get any extra points for additional suffering, either.
And we definitely don’t make anything easier by trying to process or change that which is not ours to process or change (and we won’t get any thanks for it, either).
Our bodies will let us know if we listen/observe when we are in/out of congruence with ourselves.
Notice: intensifying pain and more crying is an indication for a course correction/new choice of thought and activity. (For more information and coaching on this, go here. I also coach on this in the HAPPINESS clinic group on Facebook. Join here.)
Relax in knowing that you can’t do it wrong and you can’t fuck it up.
Somehow or other you are going to arrive at your doorstep. And when you do it will only be rejoicing.
…but if we can relax and rejoice sooner, we arrive sooner.
(It’s the crazy paradox that doesn’t make logical sense, we just have to be willing to do it.)
♥︎ Trust that things are working out FOR you, regardless of how they look or feel.
♥︎ Get curious that if/when it feels really bad and is really intense, it might not be yours, so ask.
♥︎ It’s okay to just let go (of figuring it out, working with it). We can just have something different now.
Are you ready to take elevate your happiness right. effing. now? Click the button below to schedule a time to talk with me to get started.